So you guys talked Thumper into the Americue. So be it! Americue arrives at Thumpers house in a really big and heavy box. Thumper thought this was going to be easy but it wasn’t. That box was pretty tough to open. Lots of tape and even some metal strips. Thumper thinks about just sending it back but knuckles down and gets the thing out of the box. It’s one nice looking metal box. Thumpers is happy, for a moment.
On closer inspection Thumper’s heart sinks because it appears that ASSEMBLY IS REQUIRED, four wheels to be exact. Why did no one warn Thumper? Thumper doesn’t own any tools, except for a hammer that is currently missing. Not sure a hammer would be the correct tool anyway. Again Thumper thinks about sending it back but that would mean putting it into another box which would be way more work than Thumper likes. What to do?
Thumper calls his son-in-law who owns tools which is good new and bad news. The good news he puts those cursed wheels on, the bad news is he gives Thumper a lecture about lock washers, which son-in-law considers to be a sure sign of quality construction. Son-in-law loves to talk about his tools and Thumper pretends to be interested, even throws in comments like “so that’s what ball-peen means”.
Son-in-law leave which gives Thumper the will to live and even to season the Americue. Thumper follows the instruction in the owners manual and the mighty Americue fires right up, holds the set temperature and soils the shiny new interior with smoke, which I understand is a good thing, but it makes Thumper wonder why they made it so pretty to begin with. Anyway, tonight Thumper will start a really big pork butt and make reservations for dinner out on Saturday just in case. Maybe a nice fish place.
Thumper
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